MICROPHONES & MOUTHPIECES: EP. 2

[Open: The show’s intro music “Kings Never Die” by Eminem begins to play over the opening video package, before fading out to a wide span camera shot of the studio and audience. Jason Jackson makes his way down through the crowd, giving out fist bumps along the way, until he arrives at the octagonal shaped table centered in the middle of the stage. As always, there are drinks and snacks set up on the table and this episode’s backdrop is adorned with a giant UGP 18 poster promoting the upcoming show. Jason takes his seat at the head of the table, and pours himself a drink as he speaks.]

JASON JACKSON

We are back for another episode of Microphones and Mouthpieces and you know what that means? It means that somehow you liked the first episode enough that I didn’t get fired. So thanks for that! [The crowd laughs and Jackson gives the closest camera a sly shrug.] JASON JACKSON

But honestly, it’s an honor to be able to sit down with these fighters and allow them to speak their minds. It’s an even bigger honor to be able to sit cage-side and call the action while they go out there, put that mouthpiece in, and give these fans a show to back up everything they say to the press. [The crowd cheers and Jason raises his glass into the air with a cheer of his own.] JASON JACKSON

My first guest tonight is a man who has backed it up out there time and time again. Back to back... to back... to back to back, usually by head kick… and that’s a cold hard fact. Whew. Hashtag bars. Haha. Ladies and gentlemen, the former and longest-reigning king of the middleweights. “The Primarch” Robert Guilliman!! [Instantly, "Angels of Death" by Doyle W. Donehoo hits the sound system, and the former Union GP Middleweight Champion appears on the entrance to a thundering applause from the crowd, dressed formally in his dark blue suit, red tie, and an American flag pin on his lapel. He marches decidedly to the octagon-shaped table and sits down, not without, of course, shaking Jason's hand.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

Thank you, thank you very much for the reception, and of course to you, Jason, for the opportunity to be here. It is my pride and honor.

JASON JACKSON

The honor is mine here big fella. I’ve been watching you fight for a while and watching how you carry yourself. I gotta say man, you are a true beacon of what this sport is all about. So props to you Primarch. It’s nice to be able to sit down with you ahead of your rematch with Asher Jrue and see how you’re feeling as well. I know this isn’t your first knockout loss of your career. I watched the fight with Russell Leman before you came into UGP, where I believe you had your orbital fractured in that fight right? You bounced back from that and went on a tear, but does this loss hit harder? Being that the title changed hands on that night?

[The Primarch's brow furrows for a fraction of a second as he ponders the question.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

A knockout loss is always hard, and the fact that it was my first one here makes it no better. But even though compared to that time, I didn't suffer any major injuries… I must say it does indeed.

[He nods gravely, his face almost as if carved from stone.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

Not only because the title changed hands, but because it got in the way of what I was attempting to accomplish. I wanted two more defenses to exceed Roscoe Robinson's record as the champion with most of them throughout the entirety of Union GP history. In addition to that, it would have been a great accomplishment to have gone undefeated through an entire year, but that got stopped right at the very final show.

[Guilliman shakes his head slowly, the gesture as grave as his voice as he utters the word.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

But this will be my chance to start anew. The inaction has been gnawing at me non-stop, and my every waking hour has been spent preparing for the time I step in the cage once more. And there I shall make it right.

[Nodding, the Primarch gives the camera a granite stare.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

It is what honor demands.

[A murmur erupts from the crowd as Jason Jackson nods, impressed by the response, but also relating to the situation himself.] JASON JACKSON

I know a bit about what you’re feeling and about that stoic mask as well. You know…multiple times in my career I had to make a choice. I had to choose whether to let the failure and the pressure get the better of me, or to come back guns blazin’, better than ever to reclaim what’s mine. I fought two times in my career after experiencing some traumatic blows to my personal life. Both times, a title was on the line. Both times I should’ve stood down. I should’ve phoned it in and fought another day.. Both times I fought anyways and I lost because I was too proud not to show. I was too proud to let my honor be diminished by not showing up, no matter what I was going through. So, I can respect that. A man’s honor is a true measure of his character.

[Jason pats Guilliman on the shoulder in a reassuring sort of way.] JASON JACKSON

It’s never too late, uce. You can still win that title back and set whatever records you want to. It’s only over when YOU decide it’s over. It’s a brand new year my man. Make it yours. Speaking of making it yours, I hear watching you put in work in the gym is a sight to be seen. Tell us a bit about how you prepare for a fight. Give us the rundown on the Primarch system.

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

I arrive at the Real KILLAS camp early, I would say about 8 AM. I first work on the treadmill, for cardio and speed training. Some other days I jump the rope, or do a core training routine instead - it is important to switch up training routines to keep the body challenged. Later I go to the weights, or pull a tire around the compound for strength. Once I’m done with this I move to the speed bag, and by this point it should be about midday. I take a breather for a water break and something light to eat, and by afternoon we start with techniques.

[Guilliman motions a fist going down.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

I start then with shadowboxing, and then work on the heavy bag, practicing combinations and mostly trying to land the shots as hard as I possibly can, under Coach Cipriano Carvalho’s supervision. He keeps trying to hold me back from pushing myself too hard, but the truth is we have worked very well together since we started, as I was the newest prospect, and he was the newest trainer, and one builds a bond because of that. Once we’re done with techniques, we go where they are to be tested - sparring inside the cage.

[The crowd begins murmuring again as Guilliman makes a sly smile.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

When a fight is drawing near, it is most crucial to learn the opponent’s strengths and how to neutralize them - or avoiding them entirely. If they’re a ground-based wrestler, I have to know how to escape from the ground, that is how I went against Cristian Bonanno. If they attempt to take me down, I must find a way to keep the fight on my feet. If they’re fast, I need to know how to adapt to their speed- that was what happened against Edan McLeod, and to my shame, with Asher Jrue in this last fight. But that is what sparring is for, it is also my favorite part of training. Theoreticals are necessary, but they must have practicals to effectively work.

[He takes a sip of water, before finishing.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

And after we’re done with sparring, it’s a final session of sit-ups for conditioning, once the body is already beaten up and bruised. The amount of power behind a fighter’s blows is all dependent on the strength of their core, and for a striker such as myself, core training is particularly essential. Finally, once all training is done, I end by helping up clean the area I have trained. I have done this since my tryout, out of respect for the place and people I work with. One must never forget where they come from, after all.

[Jason listens intently as the former champion speaks, and he sips as his mead before replying. ]

JASON JACKSON

Truer words have never been spoken. You can practice until the cows come home and you can plan and plan. Everyone has a plan, until they get hit a few times. Nothing prepares you for a fight more than fighting itself. Mitts and bags don’t hit back. They don’t think intelligently and defend themselves intelligently. The only way to emulate that is to get in there and mix it up. I miss it a lot sometimes.

[Jason clears his throat and applies his own stoic mask as he keeps moving with the questions. ]

JASON JACKSON

So I’ve seen some exchanges on Twitter between you and a fella you beat a while back, Zion Momo’a. It seems like he’s interested in running it back with you and Aries Reed the first chance he gets. It seems like it’s all respect between the two of you and he did manage to push you a bit to survive deeper into the second round than most have managed. Is that a fight you’d be interested in after you take care of the business at hand?

[One more time does the Primarch nod, the strength of his conviction evident and plain for all to see.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

Most definitely. Zion had taken me beyond every other opponent I had had until this last fight, and even before, as well as after the fight, we have had a cordial rapport. That is also a reason why this fight is important - for this to be done the right way, I must ensure I am holding the Middleweight Title once more should the time come when we must face again. Even if that does not happen it would be an honor to fight one more time.

[Guilliman gives his stateman’s smile, and raises an eyebrow]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

But I’ll make certain the next time we face shall be in a title fight.

JASON JACKSON

That’s a fight I hope I get to call the action for. It would for sure be a banger. You know, I could sit and talk with you all day but we’ve got three other guys back there waiting so I’ll ask one more question and then bring out our next guest. So… Asher Jrue part two. What’s the gameplan?

[The Primarch’s visage looks concentrated, laser-focused as he describes the strategy.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

Asher Jrue beat me by virtue of his speed and his punching ability. It follows naturally that I must not, by any means, give him the chance to use it. And there’s only one way to do that.

[He bangs his fist against his palm repeatedly.]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

If he will come at me with the same intensity he did in our last fight, then I have to be the one to go to him first. Take the lion’s fangs away and he is but a helpless feline. Not give him the chance to breathe without finding himself on the receiving end of a strike. Rain blow after blow until he is exhausted, his dodging and blocking fail him…

[And this time, the Primarch makes a diagonal cut in the air with his palm, ending on his temple - mimicking one of his trademark head kicks]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

Or until his head caves in. He might have survived one kick, but he will not do it a second time - and when he falls, the Middleweight Title will find itself back in the hands of the man that raised it to heights never before seen in Union GP.

[One final nod, and a straight look at the camera]

ROBERT GUILLIMAN

By my honor, it will be done.

[The camera pans back to Jason, looks into the lens and addresses the fans at home.]

JASON JACKSON

There you have it. Straight from The Primarch himself. He’s calling his shot. Make sure you tune in February 16th to catch the long awaited rematch. I’m honored to be the one to call the action and get to watch the fight from right there at cage side. It’s going to be a war!

[The camera pans back out and Jason stands to gesture toward the side stage where Cal McClusky can be seen peeking through the curtains. ]

JASON JACKSON

Ahem. I’m going to take this opportunity to call out our next guest of the evening. He’s...well… he’s a character for sure. He has struggled through his career as a fighter, but no matter how many times he loses, he never gives up, and he’s still looking to turn his losing record around and win “lots of bitches ’n’ money ‘n’ shit.” Ladies and Gentlemen, Cal McCluskey

[“I Drink Alone” by George Thorogood and The Destroyers plays as Cal McCluskey enters. The Michigan native wears a black and white Houndstooth short sleeve shirt, black warmup pants with a white stripe down the side, white Adidas shoes with black stripes, and a fake gold chain. Cal receives a few boos and heckles that he responds to with middle fingers and crotch grabbing. His own, that is. Cal doesn’t notice Jackson’s attempt at a handshake and goes right to the Jack Daniels bottle and whiskey glass that awaits for him on the table. Cal cracks off the top, fills the glass to the brim, and downs it all in one go. This fuels him for more shouting at the fans. “I Drink Alone” fades out but the beef continues.]

CAL McCLUSKEY

Fuck you, bitch! I don’t give a fuck! I don’t give a fuck! I fucked your mom last night, pussy! Fuckin’ bitch! [Cal sets the glass down as the shouting directed at him gets louder. He makes out like the Jack Daniels bottle is his penis and “jacks off” with it in the direction of his hecklers. Jason can barely contain his laughter and he lets the scene continue for a few more moments before stepping in.]

JASON JACKSON

Cal… Hey Cal! Just pretend like they aren’t there. Here’s your seat. I got you some pepperonis and some chicken fingers.

[Jackson points at the tray of food, hoping that this distracted him enough to keep him from jerking off the poor Jack Daniels bottle. Cal grabs a chicken finger and almost responds immediately to a shout by throwing it in the crowd, but chooses to eat it instead as he sits down. Cal kicks his feet up on the table and swigs from the bottle before chomping down on the chicken finger.] CAL McCLUSKEY

[Chewing, food falling out of his mouth.] Fuckin’ bitches. I’ll fight any of ‘em in the fuckin’ parking lot after this. I don’t give a fuck. [Cal eats more and takes another swig, allowing Jackson to talk.] JASON JACKSON

You know, for a lot of people when they say they’d fight someone in the parking lot… I’d generally call their bluff. I actually believe you though. You definitely aren’t afraid to get your ass whipped, and you always come back for more so I respect that.

[Jason raises his glass as a toast and then empties the vessel of the remaining mead before continuing.]

JASON JACKSON

So Cal, what’s the plan man? You have no more fights left on your UGP contract. Have they reached out about resigning you? Do you still want to fight? I know you’ve said on social media that between fucking people’s aunts, sisters, mothers, wives, and girlfriends… you’ve been training harder?

CAL McCLUSKEY

I think we agreed to some shit. Me ‘n’ Dante. I ain’t signed shit yet but I think we agreed. Dunno. I was real drunk on the phone ‘n’ shit. He sounds like a fuckin’ pussy too so he’s all talkin’ ‘n’ shit ‘n’ it’s like “blah blah blah.” I ain’t heard him since. I ain’t heard from G2 since my bare-knuckle fight. Pissed off they didn’t book me for that, uh, the fuckin’, ya know, the MMA challenge shit. You win it ‘n’ fight Fisk for the belt ‘n’ shit ‘n’ guess they were afraid I’d make everybody look like shit ‘n’ beat the shit outta him for the belt ‘n’ shit. They probably scared I’m fuckin’ all their Japanese women ‘n’ Japan ‘n’ shit. But yeah man. Been trainin’ harder ‘n’ shit. That’s why they were probably too scared to put me in that shit. But I did, like, kinda fuck up ‘n’ shit after the New Year’s holiday shit. I was kinda gettin’ a little quicker ‘n’ shit then I went to this fuckin’ party ‘n’ shit. We were all like drinkin’ ‘n’ shit ‘n’ I got it on with this bitch but woke up all, like, tired ‘n’ shit. All hungover. So I went back home ‘n’ on my way got two spicy chicken sandwiches from Popeye’s ‘n’ a Jimmy John’s sub ‘n’ shit. That was my breakfast. But yeah, man. I been, like, trainin’ harder ‘n’ shit. But damn, man, all that, like, movin’ ‘round ‘n’ shit makes me all fuckin’ hungry. Fuckin’ sucks.

[Cal reaches for a handful of chicken fingers and pepperoni, leans back in his chair, and gets in another swig while eating.]

JASON JACKSON

Spicy chicken sandwiches from Popeyes sounds pretty good right now, I won’t lie.

[The crowd chuckles a bit and it seems to cut the heckling for only a moment, as Jason’s next question is interrupted mid-way by a drunk, three hundred plus pound hillbilly in the back of the audience dressed in red plaid flannel, and bib overalls. ]

JASON JACKSON

Well, whether Dante re-signs you or not, you’ve made a bunch of money off your professional MMA career. Over one hundred thousand dollars to be exact, so tell me…what was the first thing you bought when you cashed that first ch-

HECKLER (OVER JASON)

That feller bought himself a prostitute to finally lose his virginity and probably a bucket of some of the Colonel’s finest Kentucky Fried Chicken to cry into after.

CAL McCLUSKEY

I paid your momma to bounce on my dick so you could afford a school lunch, bitch.

[ Jackson watches the exchange between the two, clearly amused by the banter. The hefty redneck stands up and hands the woman beside him his drink before making his way down a few steps before being stopped by security. Cal steps around the octagon table, arms out wide with the bottle in his right hand. ]

HECKLER

At least I went to school, buddy. I reckon you barely even finished the fourth grade. [ Cal throws the Jack Daniels bottle at the heckler. They get their arms up, but the bottle still hits their left forearm. There’s whiskey all over the floor and some of it splashed on the crew. Cal runs at the heckler and security has their hands full in separating these heavy men. Cal gets both hands behind the heckler’s neck to pull them down, then uses his right hand to punch them in the gut three times. He brings them down onto their knees and bends over. His warmup pants have slipped down, revealing his very noticeable ass crack as he lands a few hammer fists to the back of their head before security manages to shove him off. Cal pulls his pants back up as he’s being pushed backwards. ]

CAL McCLUSKEY

Fuck you, bitch! I killed your fuckin’ ass! Pussy! That’s what you get, bitch! I’m a fuckin’ murder machine, bitch!

[ Cal points around the audience. ] CAL McCLUSKEY

‘N’ if any you other fuckin’ pussy bitches wanna fight ‘n’ shit you can meet me in the parking lot! I’ll fight anybody! I don’t give a fuck! [ Cal sucks in his gut and strikes some Hogan flexing poses to a round of boos. Jason can not contain his laughter at this point and he’s holding his stomach as he doubles over, cackling. ]

JASON JACKSON

Holy shit that was golden. People are going to remember this episode for a long time. Security, throw the big dude out. His sister-wife too.

[ JJ stands up and attempts to reign Cal in, handing him a THC vape pen to mellow him out as security removes the instigator from the building. ]

JASON JACKSON

See, you have gotten better! Keep training and you’ll be crushing more people like that. Unfortunately, that took up some time so we’ve gotta introduce the next guest, but have a seat and lower your blood pressure my guy.

[Jason turns back to the camera and mouths “wow.” with a laugh, before putting back on a straight face. ]

JASON JACKSON

Moving on we introduce last, but certainly not least, a man who really needs no introduction. I’d call him the protégée of MY protégée, but recently the student beat the master in what will ultimately go down as one of the greatest fights in UGP history. He’s the winner of the 2019 UGP Grand Prix and more importantly the REIGNING and DEFENDING Union GP Lightweight Champion of the world!!! Fighting out of “The ScrapYard L.A.” “Double D” himself! Delaney Donovan!!

[ “Devils Dance Floor” by Flogging Molly plays as Delaney Donovan emerges in a nice pair of dress slacks and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He offers a wave to the fans who are cheering for him and then a bit nervously meanders over to take his seat at the octagon shaped table, though clearly not entirely comfortable with the idea of having to answer questions about himself in front of an audience like the one he now sits before.]

JASON JACKSON

Welcome to the show, Champ. It’s an honor. You look a little bit on edge. I’d offer you a drink, but I know that you have another big title defense coming up against a very game challenger in August Pope. I also know that being in that cage will forever be a lot more comfortable than sitting here in front of these cameras. You always look at home out there, no matter who you’re fighting. That’s a rare trait in a fighter. It goes without saying then that you’re completely prepared for this fight, no matter where it goes… yeah?

DELANEY DONOVAN

Yeah… yeah I think so. I mean, I’m not great in every area but I’m pretty good at things that put me in a good position to win my fights. I’m never going to be a guy that’s out there with the flashy submissions like Simba or Spidey, but I’m completely comfortable working on the ground and I think I’ve shown the ability to neutralize some elite grapplers in my division. I like to stand and bang though, if I’m being honest. I like that feeling of sort of breaking my opponents will to continue on, you know? And that’s something that really only happens when you punch someone in the nose hard enough.

[Nervously, Delaney runs his hands along the hem of his slacks, chewing his lip a bit as he kept his eyes focused on Jason Jackson.]

JASON JACKSON

Yeah, I can relate whole heartedly. I was never the guy that went out there looking for submissions. I just like to brawl. Plain and simple. Don’t get me wrong, I used to slam dudes on the canvas back in the day but it was generally to punch a hole through their head after. I think the best submission I ever pulled off was against Katsumi Hoshiko. Dude had me really hurt and left himself open and I pulled it off somehow. I can’t even remember what it was now. Some sort of D’arce or windshield choke. Typically I tend to lose by submissions more than win by them. Never been KO’d but Brandon Banks and Roscoe Robinson both caught me in a sub. Shoulda been a kickboxer I guess.

[Jason does his best to ease the tension with jokes and steer things into just a laid back conversation, knowing how uncomfortable these things could be. The audience laughs a bit and Jason shrugs and continues.]

JASON JACKSON

You’ve made quite the household name for yourself though, and you’ve helped put the ScrapYard name on the map in big ways. Tell us about the gym in LA! Are you calling the shots there, and what’s it like for you, personally, coming to the states by way of Belfast and to make that sort of transition?

[Delaney smiles sheepishly at the question but seems to relax some.]

DELANEY DONOVAN

I think that might be giving me too much credit. ScrapYard is on the map because of people like Catorina Price. Most people don’t know her but she’s really devoted her life to growing the quality of the gym in Belfast. With the LA branch, though, that’s all the Laughlin’s. I just train there. Bryan and Kaelan run call the shots. But it’s what I needed. The fight with Carrick, as much as people seem to want to talk about it, was sort of sprung on me out of nowhere. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a little bit of resentment that I wasn’t looped in. But really I think I just needed a bit of a change of scenery. My whole life had been spent in that little corner of Ireland so to come to a city like LA, it’s been… interesting to say the least.

[Shifting in his seat, he clears his throat a bit to provide a bit more detailed of an answer.]

DELANEY DONOVAN

There aren’t the distractions that there were at home. Now I basically go to the gym, get my work in, and go back to my apartment. I’m not exactly the most social individual in the first place and to be somewhere where I really don’t know too many people. It just helps keep me grounded and focused on things that matter, rather than wasting time on other things, or other people, that don’t have my best interest at heart. So it’s been good. The grind is real and it’s needed, you know? In the last few months I’ve had to fight Natalie King on two separate occasions, I’ve had to fight Carrick and now I’ve got this fight with August coming up. I think he’s a bit of an unknown, you know? He’s had some good fights in the past but not really against anyone that’s of the same caliber currently that I am outside of Jordan, and he lost that fight. But he’s hungry. He’s got a lot to fight for so I’m sure it fuels him to try and make the most of the opportunity he’s got. But for me, now? Being in LA and my focus being fully on honing my craft, I want to go down in history as the greatest lightweight in Union GP history.

[Jason give the fighter an all too knowing nod and drains the rest of the mead in his cup.]

JASON JACKSON

Ahh. Well I’ll tell you this. You are an incredibly impressive and talented fighter. One that I love to watch and when I’m old and grey, talking about the good old days and on the edge of Alzheimer’s, I’ll still remember being able to be cageside and watch the fight against Carrick live and in person. Granted, it’s a fucking messed up grey area in the fight game, having to fight a teammate and someone close to you. I had to deal with it when they sprung the fight against Lena on me… and it was hard to wrap my head around. Still is, really. But man I have to tell you.... As an outsider? Calling that fight between the two of you? It was a showcase man. Seriously. The two of you left it all out there in that cage, and you didn’t hold back, and you stepped the fuck up, and that’s what this fight game is about. I just hope that at the end of the day it’s all love between the two of you still.

[Jackson sits his empty glass back on the table and extends a fist out to Delaney to fist bump him.]

JASON JACKSON

I’ll tell you what though. I’m in LA all the time and if you ever want to train together or get your ass kicked in a game of pool or something, let me know. I’d be happy to kick it and take some of that money you’ve been making off your hands champ.

[Returning the fist bump, Delaney then straightens and finally gets fully settled in, starting to feel at home.]

DELANEY DONOVAN

It’s about to be another cool million dollars with another fight of the night attached to my name.

[He grins as the fans “ooooh” at the called shot but he just shrugs.]

DELANEY DONOVAN

Nah, money isn’t really a thing to me. Most of what I make I donate to charity anyway. Or at least trying to set one up in my ma’s honor. There’s been some hiccups along the way with that but I guess that’s what happens when you have a lad that gets punched in the head for a living trying to do normal things like paperwork. It seems like everyone is involved with some kind of charity in one way or another so I guess this is just me trying to do my part too.

JASON JACKSON

That’s respectable. It’s good to see people giving back though. I always tried to do my part as well. That was what I always said about my career. Win or lose, I just wanted to help people flourish and grow in this sport, and in life. I still hold true to that to this day, especially with the players on my basketball team and with any up and coming fighter who comes to me for advice. I just wanted to leave something behind. Just not something negative. What I left behind was a bad taste in some people’s mouth, but I get it. You know? I think you’re a good person though, Double D, and a tremendous fighter. I wish you the best of luck in this title fight ahead of you, and best of luck as well on the road to be the greatest Lightweight of all time. You are well on the way, in my opinion.

DELANEY DONOVAN

Appreciate it, my man. And lemme just say before I go, if someone runs across Lexi Sheckler in whatever whorehouse she’s working out of now, tell her I forgive her for the shit she said a few months back before I beat her ass all over the cage.

[Standing up, Delaney raises his fist in the air and acknowledges the crowd with a nod before extending his hand to Jason to shake. Jason shakes his hand without hesitation and turns to the camera, trying not to lose his shit with laughter.]

JASON JACKSON

My dude said “in whatever whorehouse…” holy shit… this has been an episode to remember for sure. It’s been a pleasure having each and every one of you here. Look out for Cal fighting people in the parking lot on your way out. Please do not hit him with your car. I’m Jason Jackson and this has been another episode of Microphones and Mouthpieces. Make sure you get your tickets to UGP 18, or pre-order that PPV to see Delaney and Rob both go to war inside of that cage and walk out with that gold! Goodnight y’all, see you at the fights.